Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

(My wife and I do our weekly shop every Monday. My wife’s a primary school teacher and has a very calm, nature. She’s also practiced judo since early childhood, runs a class at weekends, and has a self-defense class that uses non-excessive force. My wife has offered to get the ingredients for her school to make pancakes the next day, as it is the day before Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day). Most ingredients are shared but we need 14 two-pint jugs of milk. My wife is at the pancake display. There are loads of ready made, ready mix, and separate ingredient on display. My wife is counting out the 14 jugs of milk, when another customer approaches.)

Customer: “Jesus, lady, leave some for the rest of us.”

Wife: *looking at the display* “I’m sure there’s enough for everyone.”

(My wife moves the trolley to try and leave.)

Customer: “Stuck-up b****.”

(My wife carries on moving as she has what she needs.)

Customer: *moving his trolley to block my wife* “Hey, don’t ignore me. I asked you a question.”

Wife: “No, you didn’t. You told me to leave some, even though there’s more than enough. Then you called me a stuck-up b****. Please move your trolley so I can get away from you.”

Customer: “How many you got in there? 14?” *he takes two milks out* “Now you only have 10.”

Wife: “Not only are you rude, you’re also an idiot. 14 minus 2 is 10.” *reaches out and gets two more milks* “Now there’s 14 again.”

(She moves her trolley quickly around the man. By now people are starting to stare. I make a move to go to her but she gives me a look so I stay where I am. The man takes a step towards her and puts his hand around her wrist.)

Customer: “You think you’re better than me, b****?!”

Wife: *very calmly* “Sir, I have tried to ignore you’re insults and politely asked you to move. You will not leave me alone. Now you have placed you hands on me in a threatening manner. This is considered assault. If you do not let go of me NOW I am within my rights to defend myself. Do you understand?”

(The customer just looks at her as if she’s spoken another language.)

Wife: “I have given you fair warning. I am obliged to warn you that I know judo. Please let go of me.”

(My wife tries to move her arm but he holds a little tighter.)

Customer: “You think you can hurt me, you b—”

(My wife uses the heel of her hand to strike the man in the face, causing his nose to bleed. She then flips him, where he lands with an almighty crash half on the floor and half on the display. While he is laying, screaming, she bends his index finger back (without breaking it) so he cannot get away. We hear heavy footsteps as security and staff comes running. People are just standing around, amazed.)

Security Guard: “What’s going on? Miss, you need to let go of him now, please.”

Wife: *very calmly* “This man was very rude and abusive to me. I asked him several times to leave me alone but he held my arm. I warned him I know judo, but he decided to hold on tighter. I then defended myself against a personal attack.

(The police were called and the man was taken away. My wife, I, and a few other customers were questioned by police as to what happened. As we all said the same thing, and my wife did not use excessive force, we were all told to go on our way. The supermarket donated the pancake ingredients to the school and my wife and I received £500 in vouchers. The customer has been banned from that store and the other major supermarkets in the area.)

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Putting The T Into Hipster

(A coworker friend of mine and I are taking a break and talking about the show ‘Breaking Bad’)

Me: “Yeah. I used to really watch the first season pretty religiously, before it got all the press and the hype.”

Coworker: “What a little hipster! All you need are some glasses and a Chai Tea.”

(I turn around and put on my glasses.)

Me: “Better?”

Coworker: “Ha! Now you’re just missing your cup of tea.”

Me: “Well, I already drank it. You know, before it got cool.”

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"A Sticky Situation" (1960) by Carl Barks

I like how advertising is literally still exactly as sexist as they’re joking about in this comic from 54 years ago.

I don’t like this boy anymore and he won’t leave me alone


We sort of dated, but he was kind of a coward (I’d have to go talk to him, he wouldn’t come up and talk to me), and he never took me out on dates, and he only talked when he was whining about his bad grades (otherwise he made me talk). He keeps saying he respects me, and that he wants another chance. But I’ve told him, no, I don’t want to date you. He says he respects me above everyone else in our high school, but he wants me to reconsider, he wants to finally take me out on a date, and he’s so sorry about whatever he said to change my mind (he never said anything, except to complain- that’s the problem). I really don’t want to talk to him, and I’m a bit frightened by the way he apologizes (he practically yells, and he doesn’t let me finish my sentence so he can apologize) and I’m annoyed by his requests to reconsider. He also tries to make me talk to him in the hallway, again trying to apologize. I feel silly for feeling scared when he just wants to apologize, and I feel guilty for being so mad at him when he’s trying to apologize, but it makes me all riled up and angry and nervous when he tries to talk to me and all I want is to never have to talk to him or even see him again. 

I know this isn’t exactly what your blog is for, but I didn’t know where to ask. Is there something I can say to make him stop and leave me alone?  Would it be over the top to tell a guidance counselor? I just don’t want to talk to him. 

[anon submission]

I think it’s fully in your right to tell him to leave you alone, and to talk to a guidance counselor for support or if he ignores your requests to stop talking to you.  You don’t owe him your time or affection or attention.  And if you tell him you don’t want to talk to him and he ignores you, he doesn’t really respect you after all, does he?  Do what you have to do to be safe, whether that’s confronting him and telling him (more aggressively) to leave you alone, or going to a school admin or counselor for support, or reporting him for harassment, whatever you need to do is okay.


A scene from the 1993 film Menace 2 Society.

Featuring Charles S. Dutton as Mr. Butler.


From left to right …  Guion Stewart Bluford Jr, Ronald McNair, Frederick D Gregory, Charles F Bolden Jr

The more pain I’m in, the more femme I dress…because if I have to go to work, I want to deflect comments about my limping or pain face. Even better, my crutch matches the outfit (Gwynnie Bee outfit).


The more pain I’m in, the more femme I dress…because if I have to go to work, I want to deflect comments about my limping or pain face. Even better, my crutch matches the outfit (Gwynnie Bee outfit).


Between January 2008 and May 2012, Missoula Police referred 85 reports of sexual assault of adult women to the County Attorney’s Office for prosecution but charges were filed in only 14 of the cases – less than 17%, the investigation found.

The DOJ attributes the attorney’s office failure to prosecute to gender bias and a “general disregard” for sexual assault cases and the women who report them.

The letter alleges that in one instance, a Deputy County Attorney quoted religious passages to a woman who had reported being sexually assaulted.

“The woman interpreted this to mean that the attorney was judging her negatively for having made the report,” the DOJ says.

In another instance, a woman whose 5-year-old daughter was allegedly sexually assaulted by an adolescent boy was told, “boys will be boys,” by the prosecutor handling the case, the DOJ says.

And in another example, a Deputy County Attorney told a woman who alleged sexual assault, “all you want is revenge,” according to the DOJ.

Click the link to read more.